Shortly after having my now 3 year old daughter via cesarean birth due to failure to progress/CPD after an induction for post dates, I started planning my VBAC homebirth. Little did I know then that I would be carrying mono/di twins. Continue reading →
Some things: My first baby, Bruin, was born in 2009 via cesarean, and I feel it was truly unnecessary- a standard cascade of interventions story. I knew within months of his birth that my next child would be born at home. There are lots of reasons, but that is not the subject of this particular story; I could fill pages with my reasons. Ultimately I have my sweet boy (and his birth) to thank for my more recent birth experience (and so much more!). Anyway, we live in a very rural area, and the closest home birth midwife I could find was 1.5 hours away. The team was amazing, though, and so worth the trip. I was measuring consistently ahead in fundal height early on, and just before the mid-point of my pregnancy, my midwife referred me to an obstetrician to have an ultrasound (we’d not planned on having any) to rule out twins, fibroids, excess amniotic fluid, or any other complications. At the ultrasound, we were told there was “definitely” one baby, no fibroids, and no excess fluid- the doctor said I simply had “a large uterus.” We went with that as confirmation. Continue reading →
So, I was pretty much considered a “high risk pregnancy” from the start. “Advanced maternal age” at 39, conceived via IVF with ICSI (although it’s controversial as to whether this confers any/much additional risk or not), and twins. Conceiving had been so awful (three years of infertility, multiple failed attempts, arguments with my husband who didn’t want to do IVF, tens of thousands spent, finally a pregnancy with my first IVF that then miscarried before I conceived the twins on my second IVF attempt) and it had been so far from natural that I really wanted to just have a normal, natural delivery. This was my first pregnancy (not counting the miscarriage), but I’d had a huge fibroid removed a few years ago. Still, they hadn’t cut into the wall of the uterus with that, so I was assured that there was no increased risk with a vaginal delivery.
Baby A was head down from the start. And I was seeing an acupuncturist for morning sickness who assured me that she had had success in the past with using acupuncture and moxibustion to turn babies closer to term if one of them was breech. So I had high hopes for a vaginal delivery. So at my 18-week anatomy scan, I was disappointed when they said it looked like I had a complete placenta previa (PP). Continue reading →
When I was 12 weeks pregnant I went in for my first ultrasound. As I eagerly watched the screen, the technician tried both an abdominal and vaginal ultrasound, yet no baby appeared. She quietly went and got the doctor who also tried both methods of ultrasound and still no baby. The doctor quietly apologized and told me I had lost my baby. This made absolutely no sense to me because I had no symptoms of miscarriage, but the doctor told me there was no possible way my baby had survived and scheduled me an appointment at the radiology clinic at the hospital for the next morning to decide what steps needed to be taken next. The next morning my husband and I went to our radiology appointment and two minutes into the ultrasound the technician asked what I had been told the day before. I tearfully told her that I had been told that I had lost my baby. She turned the screen to me and said, “Honey you have twins! They are right there and there are their heartbeats!” Talk about a whirlwind of emotions! She then told me that I had a fibroid tumor the size of a baseball, which must have been blocking the babies the day before. Continue reading →
I wanted to share my story here so that those who do not understand why someone might choose to homebirth multiples could have a little more insight into the decision-making process that goes into it. This essay isn’t to convince anyone to birth at home, or that home is superior to hospital, or that homebirth is the better way for everyone. I simply want to help show one example of why someone might choose to birth at home, since that is a voice that is frequently excluded from mainstream multiples groups. -Christy
Around three years after the planned homebirth of my third child ended in an unplanned and traumatic cesarean, my husband and I began talking about the possibility of having another baby. For many reasons, physical and emotional, my cesarean had been particularly traumatic, so I was only interested in conceiving again if VBAC was a safe option and a reasonable possibility. I connected with ICAN and researched PubMed articles about VBAC safety. After realizing that VBAC was a safe option and that I was a good candidate, we began trying for our fourth child. Within a month, I was pregnant!
After exploring different kinds of providers, I found out that most of the local hospitals had VBAC bans in place, and others had no doctors who supported VBAC. With all of this in mind, I decided that I felt most comfortable with, and most likely to have my VBAC plans honored by, a certified professional midwife (CPM). In my state, CPMs were licensed and could legally practice; only after contacting several local midwives did I learn that my state’s health department had banned midwives from attending homebirths against the recommendation of its own midwife accrediting agency and even though midwives had been attending VBACs legally and without complications for years before. Eventually, after much research and prayer, I found and hired an out-of-state midwife and made plans to drive up in labor and birth somewhere closer to her.
Breastfeeding my Twins Despite Their Prematurity
by Lindsay Castiglione
After an emergent c-section at 30w3d due to fetal distress of my baby B, I had a deep fear that breastfeeding my twin boys would be impossible. I had read Mothering Multiples, so I had at least a little leg up on the average mom to preemie multiples, but I still thought it was a long shot with 30 weekers. I was lacking confidence in my body – it had failed me in carrying my babies to term, so what if it just didn’t measure up in the breastfeeding department as well? I still set out determined, using the fact that providing my babies breast milk was one of the major ways I could be involved in their care as motivation.
My journey of breastfeeding began with an intimate relationship not with my babies, but with my Medela Symphony rental pump. Continue reading →
I feel like I can’t start this story without mentioning Eloise’s birth. The two feel very connected to me, a continuation of sorts. It was through her birth that I had come to meet my midwives and this story would have been completely different without them. I also feel that Ella’s birth happened the way it did so that this birth could have the ending it does. Onward to the story of the boys…..
When I found out I was pregnant I wasn’t exactly thrilled. Eloise was just over a year old and I was still nursing her and hadn’t planned on weaning anytime soon. I knew we wanted to grow our family in the future but I wasn’t quite ready just yet. I made an appointment at the birth center and hoped that my midwives would agree to do another homebirth. When I arrived at the birth center R was out so I got to see and talk to S. It was really good to see her and chat about everything. When I was getting ready to leave I asked if we could listen for the heartbeat but S realized that she and R had both left their dopplers elsewhere and she asked if I wanted her to do a quick check with their ultrasound machine. I remember laughing about how high tech they had become and quickly agreed because I wanted the reassurance. She put the wand on my belly and paused, I asked if everything was ok and she quickly assured me that it was but wanted to know if I was positive about my dates. I was and then she showed me how thought she could see TWO heartbeats.
I was in disbelief. I convinced myself that the machine was old and that they were mirror images. A million thoughts were racing through my head but the thing that stuck out the most was that I was going to have to give up on a homebirth. I was going to have to take a million steps backwards and do something that I said I would never ever do again and resign to a hospital birth. I was scared. I set up an appointment for the imaging center to get a better ultrasound and spent the night and the next day studying ultrasounds of twins online. The next afternoon my husband took me to the imaging center to confirm what I already knew in my heart. We were pregnant with twins. We were told that they were likely identical and most likely monochorionic and diamniotic, which meant nothing to me at the time. I also got my first dose at how this pregnancy would be viewed by others when the radiologist came in to tell me how I was “too small to carry twins, they would be early, and I would be closely monitored throughout.” I was pissed. I didn’t want to be pregnant and I sure didn’t want to be pregnant with twins. I walked out of those doors and was instantly labeled “high risk”. Continue reading →
If you are recovering from a past traumatic birth experience, whether it was with your twins or another birth, you may want to begin the work of processing that experience and exploring how it impacted you.
Following are some suggestions that may help you to explore and process your feelings surrounding your birth experiences.
1) Journal and write. Sometimes, thoughts in your head – even memories – can be confused and cluttered. It may be that holding the feelings in has become difficult, but you don’t feel safe sharing them with anyone else yet. In both of these cases, putting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to paper may help. You may find as you write that you discover things that bothered you that you hadn’t realized bothered you, or that you remember things more clearly as you attempt to sequence them in writing. You may also find that the act of writing out your feelings and experiences is therapeutic in and of itself.